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I'm Here, I'm Genderqueer, Get Used to It: How the Rules of Gender and Perfectionism Shaped Me and Screwed Me

I've thought about writing this post so many times. Then I paused to wonder why I even wanted to. I don't owe anyone anything, really. My reality won't change other people's, not by much. But my mom once told me that even if no one loves my songs as much as she does, it's still worth it to keep writing. And she's right. So I'm writing this. Just in case it resonates with anyone else. But Chirst knows it wasn't pure self-reflection that got me here. There were so many people I looked to along the way. Change is a group effort sometimes.  The thing is, it's not change, not to me. For people who can't think my thoughts and feel my feelings, it looks a lot like change. "You've changed". That's quite funny to me, because I feel like I've spent my life trying to change: Trying to change into the right kind of singer, the right kind of partner, the right kind of woman. So I'm not changing anymore, I refuse. I want to be . Somet

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